New language regime

On August 26 Donna Braquet, a gay rights official at University of Tennesse (she’s director of the Pride Center), suggested a new way to make their campus “welcoming and inclusive for all”: using a student’s chosen name and “correct” pronouns.

This is what she wrote on the university website:

“We should not assume someone’s gender by their appearance, nor by what is listed on a roster or in student information systems. Transgender people and people who do not identity [she means identify] within the gender binary may use a different name than their legal name and pronouns of their gender identity, rather than the pronouns of the sex they were assigned at birth.”

Here’s how she thinks her suggested practice would work:

“In the first weeks of classes, instead of calling roll, ask everyone to provide their name and pronouns. This ensures you are not singling out transgender or non-binary students. The name a student uses may not be the one on the official roster, and the roster name may not be the same gender as the one the student now uses.”

Imagine how practical and time-saving this method must be…

“This practice works outside of the classroom as well. You can start meetings with requesting introductions that include names and pronouns, introduce yourself with your name and chosen pronouns, or when providing nametags, ask attendees to write in their name and pronouns.”

She even provided a conversion table that shows students and staff how to use non-gendered pronouns. Her guidelines have been sent to the entire university.

New regime: Pictured above is a conversion table given to staff and students at the University of Tennessee's Knoville campus to instruct them in the use of non-gendered pronouncs

(By the way, this conversion table shows how little she knows about grammar and linguistics. Coming from someone who works at a university, it’s kind of disappointing.)

An article on the Daily Mail says that her practice has received “a backlash from critics” and that a university spokesman said: ”

‘We would like to offer clarification of the statements that have been made referring to gender-neutral language.

‘There is no mandate or official policy to use the language. The information provided in our Office of Diversity and Inclusion newsletter was offered as a resource to our campus community on inclusive practices.

‘We recognize that most people prefer to use the pronouns he and she; we do not dictate speech. 

‘We do strive to be a diverse and inclusive campus and to ensure that everyone feels welcome, accepted, and respected.’

I think this (Orwellian) attempt to change language gives you an idea of how campus life must be nowadays.

To me, this extreme focus on feelings is another sign of how infantilizing our parenting style has been. Instead of helping our children grow into responsible, strong adults, we have taught them they are so special that they have the right to change everything that does not agree with them and that stomping their feet and saying that they’re offended is enough to get what they want.

Against discriminatory adverts

Fathers4Justice has published a post about two adverts by Children’s Hearing of Scotland:

Children's Hearings Scotland: Jamie

Children's Hearings Scotland: Katie

Fathers4Justice today condemned adverts by Children’s Hearings Scotland as discriminatory and anti-father and urged supporters to contact the organization to ask them to withdraw the adverts with immediate effect.”

They want your money

*Note that I have update this blog entry. I wanted to make it less emotionally charged and more accurate.*

Two months ago a new hashtag campaign appeared on Tumblr and other social media: #GiveYourMoneyToWomen

The mission statement of the campaign states:

“#GiveYourMoney is a global movement. We are unifying women to a cause that slices to the heart of women’s issues: access to capital and resources. This is a global movement to be compensated for our years and lifetimes of unpaid emotional, physical, sexual, and intellectual labor. You treat us like resources and then get mad when we realize how to turn that back on you. Monetizing the male gaze.”

Emotional labor? If being civil in a relationship feels like hard work to you, you are free to leave.

It’s quite upsetting how feminists assume they represent all women and think they can speak for all of them. I, for one, like to think that I give affection and / or moral support without expecting to be paid in return. It’s a choice I can and do make daily. I don’t think of relationships as a monetary transaction. We already have a well established word for sexual transactions and that type of exchange is in fact compensated. An article that supports the campaign mentions the infamous wage gap (which has been debunked numerous times):

“When #GiveYourMoneyToWomen started surfacing on my social feeds last month, I thought it might have something to do with the way in which women are underpaid at the office. Brilliant, I thought, Give your money to women as a way of balancing out gender-based income inequality. But the idea behind the hashtag was even better than that: Women were banding together to demand payment for all the emotional work we do that goes completely unpaid—the exhausting work of being a tolerant, gentle, nurturing, listening woman in our relationships with men, at all times. Women put up with a lot of bullshit, and we have a science-backed term for it: Emotional labor. And as with any kind of labor, women are now ready and eager to get paid.”

The women who came up with this campaign and the people who support them seem to me like children who constantly try to push boundaries and test limits. Hashtag campaigns are their way of throwing a tantrum, making noise and getting what they want without having to work for it. Grown ups know that if they want money, they need to earn it.

Dads’ voices

Two examples of strong, hard working fathers who fight for their children and try to expose all the lies we are being told. They are not politically correct and couldn’t care less. They also get harshly criticized for their opinions.

Terrence Popp: a US veteran who has survived war only to come back and see his marriage fall apart and his child taken away. But he keeps fighting for her and to raise awareness. Here is a video of an interview where he explains his story. He is funny, honest and direct and always analyses the topics of his videos in a thorough way. You can clearly see he has spent time researching the subject he’s interested in and explains it clearly. I find his idea of tiers very interesting.

Tommy Sotomayor:

A somewhat controversial figure who explains his view on the problems of the African-American community. His opinion, which I find very interesting, is that it’s the black community that is mostly racist and that black mothers are dangerous and poisonous. They don’t take care of themselves nor their own children, are very violent and teach their own kids to be violent, care more about their looks then their well being, do not want to work and end up sending their sons to slaughter, since their sons end up involved with drugs and criminal gangs that lead them to jail or kill them. I like his ideas because I can see how Black Lives Matter (which was founded by 3 feminists) is a divisive movement and just like feminism plays some against the others, making society vulnerable, weak and easily exploitable. It also fuels violent episodes such as Charleston church shooting and the shooting of two US journalists in Virginia. I also like his idea that beasts are not born, they are made (referring to these bad mothers). I personally like the labels he has coined. Check the meaning of “Beast 1000”, DNA, among others. Even if you disagree with him, at least you won’t find him boring.

How parenthood affects men’s brain

According to an article on Scientific American, the brain changes after the birth of a child and the psychological changes vary between men and women.

Neural circuits that support parental behaviors appear more robust in moms a few weeks after the baby is born, whereas in dads the growth can take several months.”

“Compared with the earlier scans, MRI at three to four months postpartum showed growth in the hypothalamus, amygdala and other regions that regulate emotion, motivation and decision making. Furthermore, dads with more growth in these brain areas were less likely to show depressive symptoms, says first author Pilyoung Kim, who directs the Family and Child Neuroscience Lab at the University of Denver”.

Men are bad listeners!

“Men only listen to their partners for 6 minutes but 25 if it’s their pals”

Why are men incapable of listening to women?

Men just can’t listen to women. Women are important and must be listened to, even if you’re not interested in what they’re saying (like fashion or gossip or something) because, you know, reasons. Welcome to the religion of feminism. What about when women say that their husbands start talking about work or computers and they just pretend to listen and care? That’s OK, right, because it’s just men.

Jokes aside, I too have noticed that my husband seems not to listen to me. The difference is that, instead of accusing him of being a bad listener and starting a Twitter campaign like, say, hashtagallmenarebadlistenersohpoorme, I tried to figure out why he doesn’t listen to me. So I avoid talking about topics I know he cares nothing about. I choose the right time to speak, say, when he’s not tired or busy doing something. And so on. Basically, I use common sense, kindness and compassion. But feminism doesn’t even know what that means.

Men’s issues are not as important as women’s issues in Canada

Check this article from CBC.

Apparently, politicians NEED to discuss women’s issues. Shame on them if they dare not do it! Check which Twitter comments the article chooses to show and tell me if you don’t think there is an agenda.

What I find interesting about this is that nobody even ever considers the possibility that the country needs somebody to discuss men’s issues as well and if you express this opinion, you are sure to be labelled as misogynist.

Do boys need fathers?

This article from The Guardian says “no”.

It might suit dads to believe that boys need a man around the house. But academic Peggy Drexler thinks it could all work better without them. And she’s got the research to prove it.”

When you read something like this, your immediate reaction is probably anger, you might feel offended and disgusted at the thought that somebody can speak in such a condescending way about fathers. At least that’s how I felt when I read this. But let’s put feelings aside for a moment. Even if we remove feelings from this, the idea that “all could work better” without men and that boys don’t need a man around the house is damaging and irrelevant.

It is irrelevant because men have every right to be around the house and with THEIR OWN children. It’s not the woman’s decision to make. A child has the right to be loved and cared for by their very own father. The world does not need women to survive, since they don’t really do the work that makes it possible to sustain itself, yet they have the right to exist. It is also irrelevant because the argument “it works anyway (= even without a father) is something that we already know and that works for everything. Nobody is irreplaceable. You can be a good single parent if you are clever and work hard. You can. Like you can adapt to living on a remote island and learn to survive if you have to. Anything is possible. But is it ideal? Is it the best option?If I used the same argument, I could say: I could live with one leg, I would manage to survive. Does that mean that I will go and cut my arm off? In my anecdotal experience, since I am Italian and lived in Italy for most of my life and in Italy there are not as many single mothers as in other countries,  around 13% of single mothers and 2% of single fathers (probably due to the strong presence of the Church and a poor financial/technological national situation), the few ones I know did a very good job raising their children (without benefits, by the way). I am mentioning my anecdotal experience simply to show that yes it is possible for mothers to do a good job raising their children alone, just as it is possible for fathers to do a good job raising their children alone, but together you can do an even better job. (Even in Italy, due to the new laws that make divorces easier and better access to birth control methods, the phenomenon of single mothers is and will be on the rise.)

It is damaging and dangerous because it’s divisive and puts men against women, turning relationships into a war. What do you get from portraying men and fathers as unnecessary? What if men said the same about women? You are showing once again that feminism is not about equal rights for men and women, it’s a cult that seeks female supremacy. You want to prove that you are better than men, at the expense of your own children.

Power to fathers

A terrible day for global economy, another pointless day for Western feminism.

As Christina Hoff Sommers explains in this article, while women overseas face true oppression, modern feminists look the other way and come up with petty grievances. Universities are no longer a place where you can learn from exposing yourself to different ideas: campuses are now supposed to be “safe spaces” where students need to be protected from harmful ideas, topics, books and discussions. These young students who are going to be leading the world in a few years are so weak that they can’t even bear listening to people speak, if they don’t like what they are saying. It’s “triggering”. It’s the end of free speech.

Today’s young feminist activists are far too preoccupied with their own supposed victimhood to make common cause with women like Farghadani. This past year I visited and spoke at several US campuses, including Yale, UCLA, Oberlin, and Georgetown. I found activist feminist students passionately absorbed in the cause of liberating themselves from the grasp of the oppressive patriarchal order. Their trigger warnings, safe spaces and micro-aggression watches are all about saving themselves from the ravages of the male hegemony. And they can cite a litany of victim statistics from their gender studies class that shows their plight. Someone needs to tell them that most of those statistics are specious and that, although the threat of harm is a human constant, they are among the most liberated and privileged — and safest — people on earth.

And we are indeed the most privileged and safest people on earth and yet we think it’s OK to dismiss on the people who allow us to be so privileged, which is, men. They are the hand that feeds us. If a war starts and the world goes crazy, women are doomed and that’s when women are gonna start to appreciate men.Why does it have to be like this? Why is it that only war, poverty and destruction can bring some sense back and bring us back together?

These students don’t know what it means to have to struggle, they don’t know what it means to be poor, to have to fight to get rights, they already have everything. And if that is what a parent wants for their children, to have everything they need, a good life, a better one then the one we had, yet we have failed them. We have spoiled our kids, let them rule us, we haven’t taught them how to be strong and practical, how you need to earn what you have.

Fathers, you have such an amazing power! You have the power to change things, a lot more than you think! I am not saying that you should o the work for us, I’m saying that you need to respect and appreciate yourself and that there is something – a lot – that you can do. I know feminists have told you don’t matter and your manhood is toxic and you should be as “feminine” as women are, but it’s not true. Teach your kids, both boys and girls, about HONOR, hard work, discipline, teach them, as Karen Straughan says, to own their shit. Teach them that actions have consequences. Even if that means you have to argue with your partner, you have a right to educate your children too.

Male vilification

From “All men are rapists” to “manhood is toxic”, we live immersed in a culture that vilifies males and their sexuality.

Check Sarah Silverman’s “10 rape prevention tips” or Ana Akana’s video “How not to get raped“!

If all men are rapists, all women are angels. There is nothing they can do wrong. All sex is rape. Check this article by Ashe Schow:

Last year California passed a law that defined nearly all sex on college campuses as rape unless proven otherwise. Now, in addition to making it easier to label someone a rapist for just about every sexual encounter, state legislators want to go further to ensure that accused students’ lives are severely disrupted — if not ruined — by introducing mandatory minimums for their punishment.

Now, that said, I would honestly be afraid if I were, say, in India.

So I think we need to use some common sense. Just as you wouldn’t leave the door unlocked, be a bit careful. Don’t drink too much, try not to put yourself in a risky situation and that goes both for women and men. If something bad happens, report it to the police right away. If it’s “simply” something you regret or have second thoughts about, you have to live with it and learn from it, you can’t go back and call it rape and ruin someone else’s life for a bad decision that you made. You need to take responsibility for your choices and that’s when parenting steps in. We need to teach our children to be responsible for their choices and actions.

Check “Teach men not to rape” by Thunderf00t.

This article talks about male vilification and seems to debunk some myths:

“The tired trope of aggressive male sexuality is pervasive. The story goes like this: because men are full of testosterone and sperm as well as unhindered by the consequence of pregnancy, their sexuality is naturally brutish and promiscuous. Testosterone fuels aggression, billions of sperm want hundreds of outlets, and nature failed to offset these desires with physical dangers associated with reproduction.

The complement to this heterocentric sex story is that women, with their limited eggs, lack of testosterone and pregnancy burden are naturally chaste and self-protective. Any sexual adventurousness or licentiousness is only done to please men and keep them around so they will help with the child-rearing.”